Friends With a Criminal
by Flybaby014563
Summary: Hey,bad guys can have girlfriends too.
1. Prologue

Friends With a Criminal

Prologue

"He's dead…"the words taunted my brain over and over again. I couldn't believe he was dead. But he was.

I know it might seem weird,and stupid: but I love a criminal. Well,loved seems like a better word since he's dead. His name is Kirill. I had known him for a while. He became an assassin while I stayed home,not worrying about anything else.

But I remembered the job he had to do. Go out and kill Jason Bourne. I had stopped killing people before then. I saw him one last time before he went on the hunt for Bourne. And I never saw him again.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I can't stop thinking about him. I know it sounds stupid…but I wanted to tell him how much I loved him. And then,maybe he would stop this foolishness. I think he was only in it for the money. No. He was in it for the money now that I think about it.

I know I couldn't stop him. I wanted to so badly though. Maybe if I could have stopped him,he wouldn't be dead. But that didn't happen. So,here's my story of the last few days that I saw him before he left me.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

I stopped killing people around the summer of 2003. There was no point in doing it anymore. I was tired of living in Russia and I needed to get away. So I'm back in the states living in a nice house in New York,having a good time.

I'm still unemployed though. I'm trying to look for a job though. I've still got money from my last heist. Nothing too big though. I don't think they know that I've officially left yet. But I don't care. I don't want to go back. I need a new life.

But my new life hasn't been all that easy. I still get flash backs of killing people. And then,there's him. I still can't forget him. But I don't want to remember him. I'm about to go up and take a quick rest, and the doorbell rings. I open the door,and there he is…


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I wanted to shut the door and tell him to leave me alone. I told him before that I didn't want to be a part of it any longer. But I hesitated. Get the hell out of here,I thought. Please go away before someone realizes that you're here Kirill.

But he just stood there,smiling at me. But I knew better. I knew that he wanted something.

"Hi,"he said.

I moved so he could come in and shut the door quick so no one could see us. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I needed to see you."

"Kirill,I told you already,I'm done with them. I can't do this anymore. I'm done killing people. Just take the money or what ever you want and leave before you get caught."

"I don't want any money,I just wanted to see you."

I looked in eyes. I couldn't tell if he was being sincere or not. "Does anyone know you're here?"

He shook his head.

No,I thought. I didn't think so. "You want something. I know you do."

"Will you help me?"

"With that? I told you already,I'm done killing people."

"Tell me how much you know about Jason Bourne."

Jason Bourne…The name didn't sound familiar as far as I was concerned. So I told him that I knew nothing.

"That's what I thought,"was his answer.

I gave him a smirk. "Another person you have to kill? How much money are they you getting paid for this one?"

"That's none of your business."

I sighed. "I know."

"Just let me stay here for a while. Please…"

I hesitated for a minute. "Ok. But just for a while."


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

What the hell am I doing,I thought. I can't let him stay here. I'm going to get killed if I do this. But I really don't have a choice now. He's only going to stay here for a while so maybe I'll be ok.

I wanted to tell him how much I missed him. It had been at least a year and half since I had seen him. I had gotten so used to him being around him that I started to like him. But I never told him. You were never supposed to love anyone if you were an assassin. And that's what we were.

I knew he still was. That's the reason why I never wanted to tell him that I still cared about him…or that I loved him. He would just tell me that I was being stupid and that I could never love an assassin. He had a job to do.

Why can't you just leave me alone,I thought. They're going to try to kill us if they know you're here. Please Kirill…just leave me alone. I don't want to have anymore memories. I don't need to remember anymore…

But he was here now and I couldn't just stop him from leaving. I'm not a rude person. I'm just someone who killed a lot of people…and who's probably gonna wind up going to Hell because of all the stupid things I did in the past. I'm not a sinner…I'm just a really stupid person…

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

I tried to distance myself from Kirill as much as possible that night. But nothing worked. He was here and I had to face that fact because he was in my house. At least I told him he could sleep in the guest room because I was scared that something might happen.

But he was ok with it. I could only say "Thank god" to myself over and over again. But I knew that something was going to happen. I just didn't know what. And I didn't want to know what because I was too scared to know the truth.

Before I went to bed I sat on the windowsill,looking out at the city. The door suddenly opened. It was Kirill.

"You shouldn't be here,"I said.

"Stop being afraid of me."

"You're an assassin Kirill. I could get you arrested."

"Why haven't you?"

Good point,I thought.

"I just wanted to thank you,"and he left me alone.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

One step closer

By: Linkin Park

I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
'Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break

I'm about to break  
This room to breathe  
This room to breathe  
This room to breathe

I cannot take this anymore  
Saying everything I've said before  
All these words, they make no sence  
I found bliss in ignorance  
Less I hear, the less you say  
You'll find that out anyway  
I find the answers aren't so clear  
Wish I could find a way to disappear  
All these thoughts, they make no since  
I found bliss in ignorance  
Nothing seems to go away  
Over and over again  
Just like before

Everything you say to me  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
And I'm about to break

Everything you say to me  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
And I'm about to break

These are the places where I can feel torn from my body  
My flesh, it peels during this ride we can cut upwhat we like  
I'm about to break  
Waiting alone, I cannot resist  
Feeling this hate, I have never missed  
Please, someone, give me a reason to rip off my face  
Blood is a pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring

Shut up when I'm talking to you  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up when I'm talking to you  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up  
I'm about to break

Everything you say to me  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
And I'm about to break

Everything you say to me  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
And I'm about to

Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
'Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break

Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
'Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to…

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Why hadn't I gotten him arrested,I thought. Because he would kill me if I did something like that. Friends don't betray friends. But was he really my friend? He was more like my comrade. But he didn't think like that. Assassins never think like that.

We have no allies and we have no friends. But why was Kirill acting like this? This wasn't like him. He has to be hiding something,I thought. I wanted to find out more about this Jason Bourne that he was going to be hunting down.

Why was he after him? What did he want from this guy? Was it all about the money? How much were they going to pay him for killing this guy? But why did I want to know all this? Why did I even care? Was I starting to have feelings for Kirill? No. I couldn't do that. It would be against everything.

I can't love him anyways. He is an assassin. It wouldn't be right. But I'm not going to turn him in. I don't care about dying and I'm not afraid to die…but he is…well…was my comrade. I'm not going to betray our trust.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

Crawling

By: Linkin Park

Crawling in my skin

Crawling in my skin  
Without a sense of confidence  
Consuming, confusing  
Crawling in my skin  
Without a sense of confidence  
I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take  
There's something inside me  
That pulls beneath the surface

Crawling in my skin  
Crawling in my skin  
These wounds, they will not heal  
These wounds, they will not heal  
Fear is how I fall  
Fear is how I fall  
Confusing, confusing what is real  
Confusing what is real

There's something inside me  
That pulls beneath the surface  
Consuming, confusing  
This lack of self-control  
I fear is never ending  
Controlling, I can't seem  
To find myself again  
My walls are closing in  
Without a sense of confidence  
I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take  
I've felt this way before  
So insecure

Crawling in my skin  
These wounds, they will not heal  
Fear is how I fall  
Confusing what is real

Discomfort endlessly has pulled itself upon me  
Distracting, reacting  
Against my will, I stand beside my own reflection  
It's haunting  
How I can't seem  
To find myself again  
My walls are closing in  
Without a sense of confidence  
I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take  
I've felt this way before  
So insecure

Without a sense of confidence  
Without a sense of confidence  
Without a sense of confidence  
I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take  
Without a sense of confidence  
Without a sense of confidence  
Without a sense of confidence  
I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take  
To find myself again  
My walls are closing in  
Without a sense of confidence  
I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take  
I've felt this way before  
So insecure

Crawling in my skin  
These wounds, they will not heal  
Fear is how I fall  
Confusing what is real

Crawling in my skin  
These wounds, they will not heal  
Fear is how I fall  
Confusing what is real

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

How am I not supposed to by afraid of him? What if something happens? What a minute. What the heck is wrong with me? Nothing is going to happen.

But why did thank me? For letting him stay here? No. There's gotta be something else. But what? What else does he want from me? I need to know. No. I don't need to know. I want to know…


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I watched as the sun rose over the city. It was just like any other day. But something was different for me. But I wasn't going to tell any one. No one had to know my little secret because I had no friends here. No one was going to care.

I went over and looked out the window,sighed,and smiled. Please someone tell me that he's going to leave today,I thought. Wait…he said he was going to stay for a while though. That didn't really say anything to me though. Is he going to stay here for a couple of days,a week,a month,a year? The door started to open. I wasn't surprised this time because I knew who it was.

"Good morning,"he said.

I smiled and didn't say anything.

He walked closer to me. "Are you still afraid of me?"

"Why do I need to be afraid of you? I've known you since I started working with you…"I paused. I didn't know if I was supposed to say anything else.

He put his arm on my shoulder. "You're hiding something…aren't you?"

I shook my head. "No…No I'm not."

He then put his gun to my neck. "Why didn't you just tell me if you turned me in?"

"If I had turned you in,they would have been here last night and you would have been gone. I didn't turn you in."

He put his gun back in his pocket.

"I don't have any reason to turn you in."

"Why?"

"You haven't tried to kill me."

He said nothing and just walked off.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

I need to be more careful,I thought. I could have gotten killed. But would he kill me? Would he even try to kill me if I had turned him in? Probably. I need to stop being stupid about this.

I'm not afraid. Why do I need to be afraid of him? I was an assassin once too. He isn't here to kill me. He just needs a place to stay. Why am I being so stupid? I needed to get a hold of myself for once. But I needed to find out why he wanted to kill this Jason Bourne. Should I ask him?

No. It wasn't my place. I needed to leave him alone. What he was doing was his own business and none of mine. I just hope that he doesn't die. I want to see him again…And when he comes back,I can tell him how much I care about him…

I don't want him to leave me now. Why can't I just tell him how much I care about him? What's wrong with me? I need to tell him before he leaves me… I need to tell him that I love him once and for all.

But what would happen? What would he say? I don't care anymore. I'm not afraid of him. He told me not to be afraid of him anymore. So why am I? I need to stop telling myself to be so stupid. I need to get out of this room.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

The shower was running as I went downstairs. I'm not going to turn him in,I told myself over and over again. I need to distance myself from the phone. I can't turn him in. I told him that I would turn him in.

I went in the living room and sat on the couch and waited for the shower to stop running. I wanted him to come downstairs so I could stop worrying about all this. You're being stupid Nicole,I thought. He's not going to kill you.

The shower finally stopped running. Oh thank god,I thought. Now I can stop worrying about this.

Fifteen minutes later he came down the stairs. I tried not to look at him but it was really hard. I moved over so he could sit on the couch. I finally started to relax a bit. Everything was going to be ok now.

I wanted to tell him that I didn't turn him in. But there wasn't any point now. I could tell that he already knew. He moved closer to me and put his arm around my shoulder. Ok,this isn't right,I thought. Does he have feelings for me now? This wasn't supposed to happen.

He then looked at me,straight in the eyes. "Nicole…I wanted to tell you something."

"Yes…"

"You're…you're beautiful. I wanted to tell you that the day I met you."

I didn't know what to say. He really did have feelings for me,I thought. But…but he's an assassin. He's not supposed to have feelings for me. He's not supposed to care about me.

The next thing I knew,he embraced me and our lips finally met.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

My lips were trembling. I didn't know what to do now. I was scared. This is never going to work,I thought. He's not supposed to love me. And I can't love him.

He then started to get up. "I'm sorry I have to leave."

"When…when are you going to leave?"

"My plane leaves for India on Friday."

That's three days from now,I thought. "What will you do until then?"

"Stay with you of course."

"Don't leave."

"What?"

"You're going to wind up getting killed."

"Have I gotten killed yet?"

I sighed. "What if this is different?"

"There isn't going to be anything different about it. I'll come back. I promise you." He kissed me again and walked off.


	7. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I wish people would stop promising me stuff. Nothing good ever comes out of it.And no one ever keeps their promises.Why was his promise any different? What if he didn't come back?I would only be able to shake my head and said,"I told you so,"over and over in my head.

But he actually had feelings for me.Didn't he know that wasn't supposed to happen?But I'm not an assassin anymore.Was that the reason why everything changed?Nothing should have changed.But he cares about me and that's a BIG change.

I couldn't distance myself away from him anymore. It wasn't working. He care about me.But what about me?Was I going to be able to tell him that I loved him?I had feelings for him too.

Something's going to happen,I thought.But what?Is he going to leave me sooner?Is he going to die?I want to know what's gonig to happen to Kirill.And I don't want him to die.This is so stupid.He doesn't have to do this.He can stop this right now and not get hurt...or even get killed...

But why am I thinking like this?He hasn't even left yet.He's still here and I need to relax while he's still alive....I mean,while he's still here with me. I should stop him right now.

He did promise me that he would come back though.Shouldn't I just listen to him?But he's an assassin.They don't keep promises.I never made any promises when I was one.Why is he making one?Does he truly care about me?Does he really love me?

I didn't want to go to sleep that night.I wanted questions to be answered.I wanted Kirill to tell me if he really loved me.And I wanted to tell him that I loved him.

But I can't love him.And he can't love me,I kept telling myself over and over again.Why can't he realize that he can never love me?God I'm scared right now,I thought.

You can't leave me,I thought. I want you to stay here and I never want you out of my site.I don't want you to kill this Jason Bourne guy.I want you to stay with me where you belong. It isn't fair that you have to leave me...

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

One step closer

By: Linkin Park

I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
'Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break

I'm about to break  
This room to breathe  
This room to breathe  
This room to breathe

I cannot take this anymore  
Saying everything I've said before  
All these words, they make no sence  
I found bliss in ignorance  
Less I hear, the less you say  
You'll find that out anyway  
I find the answers aren't so clear  
Wish I could find a way to disappear  
All these thoughts, they make no sence  
I found bliss in ignorance  
Nothing seems to go away  
Over and over again  
Just like before

Everything you say to me  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
And I'm about to break

Everything you say to me  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
And I'm about to break

These are the places where I can feel torn from my body  
My flesh, it peels during this ride we can cut upwhat we like  
I'm about to break  
Waiting alone, I cannot resist  
Feeling this hate, I have never missed  
Please, someone, give me a reason to rip off my face  
Blood is a pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring

Shut up when I'm talking to you  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up when I'm talking to you  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up  
I'm about to break

Everything you say to me  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
And I'm about to break

Everything you say to me  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
And I'm about to

Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
'Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break

Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
'Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to...  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

About two seconds later I realized that someone was trying to wake me up. I turn my head. His hand was on my shoulder.

"Are you all right?"he asked as I started to wake up.

I sighed. "Yes. I'm fine."

"Looked like you were having a nightmare."

It wasn't a nightmare.I was having another one of those flashbacks again.God I wish those would just go away. "I'm fine. Really."

He sat down next to me and we embraced.I wanted to tell him to never leave my side again.But I couldn't because the next thing I knew was that I was in bed with him.


	8. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

I'm in bed with him?Ok,now I know that something isn't right.Well,I might as well enjoy it while I can.

I think I'm enjoying this a little bit too much though.He is going to leave me soon.I can't sleep with someone who's going to be leaving me.And what if he never comes back? I need to get my head back in the game.

I got up early that morning.I had kind of freaked out because I had totally forgotten that I had slept with him. I sighed and smiled. I had no intentions of getting out of bed yet. I really was enjoying this.

But how long was I going to able to enjoy this?I knew that he would be leaving me soon and he might never come back.But I wasn't thinking about that at the moment.

I got out of bed and took a shower. The phone then started to ring. I wondered if I should have gotten out to pick it up.But after two rings,it had stopped.

Something's going on,I thought.Kirill's the only other person in the house.Oh god.Don't tell me he gave them my phone number!What if they come and track us down?More importantly,what if they come and try to kill me?

I tried to calm down,but that was kind of hard at the moment,considering the fact that my old comrades could be getting on a plane at any time and could be coming over here to try to kill me. I've got to get out of here,I thought. No.I need to talk to him.I need to ask him what's going on.

I got dressed and rushed to the other room. He was already packing.

"I'm sorry,"he said. "I need to leave."

"You said you were going to stay here for two more days."

"They want me to leave now."

I took his hand and pulled him closer to me. "No...you can't leave me..."

"I told them I came here strictly on business Nicole."

"And what if you don't come back?"

"I promised you I would come back."

"You never made a promise in your whole life. Assassins don't make promises. You know that."

"I'll leave after I kill him."

"What good will it do?"

"You left."

"Because I was tired of that life."

"Well I'm not."

"You're just in it for the money aren't you?"

"That's none of your business."

I hesitated. "Yes it is..."

"What?"

"I care about you Kirill. Don't you think that this has gone a little too far?"

"He'll be easy."

"Oh everything's easy.Do you think that my life has been easy since I left? I'm lucky I still have money and I'm lucky that I have this house....but I want you."

"You know that I'll come back. But I need to leave. My plane leaves in an hour."


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"I'm not letting you leave."

"Nicole stop."

"Don't you think this is stupid?"

He tried to get passed me again,but I wouldn't let him. "Let me go!"

"This is stupid and you know it."

"I don't have a choice."

"Yes you do."

"What?"

"You can stop this right now."

He shook his head. "You don't give up do you?"

"No...I can't...Listen Kirill,you've never made a promise in your whole entire life.You know nothing about this guy.What if he does try to kill you?How am I going to live with that?"

"This isn't anything different. I told you that."

I hesitated. "You know those nightmares I've been having?"

"Yes..."

"Those aren't nightmares Kirill. They're flashbacks. Memories of when we used to work together."

"And you think I'm just going to make those go away?"

"No. That's why I didn't want you here in the first place. That's why I was scared. I didn't want to remember anymore... These few years haven't been easy for me Kirill. I can't stop thinking about the past...and I can't stop thinking about you..."

"That's why you don't want me to leave?"

I nodded.

"Why didn't you just tell me?"

"Because you're an assassin..."

"And you think I don't have feelings?"

"The rule has always been that assassins don't leave each other. You know that."

"And what they don't know won't hurt them."

"They always find out. Someone always finds out."

He sighed. "All right. I'll stay here for two more days. But I am going to have to leave."

"Yes...I know." And then what'll happen,I thought. Will you come back to me? Or will you get killed?

He hugged me and we embraced.

Why can't I just tell him that I love him,I thought. Or has he already figured that out? Yeah. He probably already has.

"You have to promise me something."

"Yes?"

"Promise that you won't follow me."

I nodded. "All right."

"I don't want you getting killed."

"I'm not the one going after this guy. That's your business,not mine."


	10. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Friday was getting closer and closer,but I didn't want him to leave me. I wanted to follow him so I could be closer to him. But I knew that wasn't going to happen. I would probably end up getting myself caught or killed.

My life was becoming hell again,but I didn't care. As long as he was with me, nothing else mattered. But I knew that he wasn't going to stay with me forever.

I have to stop him now,I thought. I have to tell him that this really is stupid and he's risking his life for nothing. But nothing's going to work. I need to follow him. Maybe I could save him by doing that.

But he told me not to. So I won't. I've made up my mind. I can't stop him from doing this now. He did tell him that he would stop after this. But he would still be a criminal...he would still be an assassin...

What if he was hiding something from me?I hid something from him...but I couldn't hide it any longer and he knows now. But I don't care. Because I really do love him.

Don't Stay

By: Linkin Park

Sometimes I need to remember just to breathe  
Sometimes I need you to stay away from me  
Sometimes I'm in disbelief I didn't know  
Somehow I need you to go

Don't stay  
Forget our memories  
Forget our possibilities  
What you were changing me into  
Just give me myself back and  
Don't stay  
Forget our memories  
Forget our possibilities  
Take all your faithlessness with you  
Just give me myself back and  
Don't stay

Sometimes I feel like I trusted you too well  
Sometimes I just feel like screaming at myself  
Sometimes I'm in disbelief I didn't know  
Somehow I need to be alone

Don't stay  
Forget our memories  
Forget our possibilities  
What you were changing me into  
Just give me myself back and  
Don't stay  
Forget our memories  
Forget our possibilities  
Take all your faithlessness with you  
Just give me myself back and  
Don't stay

I don't need you anymore, I don't want to be ignored  
I don't need one more day of you wasting me away  
I don't need you anymore, I don't want to be ignored  
I don't need one more day of you wasting me away

With no apologies

Don't stay  
Forget our memories  
Forget our possibilities  
What you were changing me into  
Just give me myself back and  
Don't stay  
Forget our memories  
Forget our possibilities  
Take all your faithlessness with you  
Just give me myself back and  
Don't stay

Don't stay

Don't stay

I didn't want to talk to him that night. I just didn't want him to leave me. This wasn't right now. He had just gotten here five days ago,and he would have to be leaving soon. It just wasn't right...

Why can't he just stop this now? Why doesn't he care that I love him and that I don't want him to leave? I probably would follow him if I could...but he would find out.

Right before I went bed that night he came into my room. I just looked at him and said nothing. I didn't want to act like something was wrong...but I knew that he was going to find out,and that I was going to have to tell him. And that's just what happened.

"You're hiding something...aren't you?"he asked.

But I said nothing.

He walked closer to me and drew me closer to him. "Why won't you talk to me?"

"Why do you have to leave me?"

"I thought we talked about this..."

"You know this is stupid...I love you...and you just leave me,just like that."

"I told you that I would come back."

I shook my head. "And what if you don't?You think it was easy for me to let you into my house?"

"I'm going to have to leave tomorrow,and there's nothing you can do..."

I sighed. "I know..."

"I just want to be with you...one last time before I have to leave."


	11. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

I thought that I would be able to see Kirill the next morning. But I was wrong. He had already left me. I sat in my bed for a while wondering what to do. Should I stay here,or should I go follow him,I thought.

Besides the bed on my dresser was a note from him.

Dear Nicole,  
I'm sorry we didn't get to spend more time together,but you know that I had to leave you. I promise you that I'll come back and see you again.

Goodbye,

Kirill

That's it,I thought. No love,Kirill,no I love you?Was this past week just a joke or something? But he is an assassin and we really can't "love" each other for a while.

Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

By: Green Day

I walk a lonely road  
The only one I that have ever known  
Don't know were it goes  
But its home and I walk alone

I walk this empty street  
On the Blvd. of broken dreams  
Were the city sleeps  
And I'm the only one and I walk alone

My shadows the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find  
Till then I'll walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh  
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh

I'm walking down the line  
That divides me somewhere in my mind  
On the border line of the edge  
And were I walk alone

Read between the lines of what's  
Fcked up and every things all right  
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive  
And I walk alone

I walk alone  
I walk alone  
I walk alone  
I walk a...

My shadows the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find  
Till then I'll walk alone

Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh  
Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ah-Ah Ahhh

I walk this empty street  
On the Blvd. of broken dreams  
Were the city sleeps  
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadows the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find  
Till then I'll walk away!

I'm going to follow him,I thought. This is the only way I'm going to be able to see him again. I need to be close to him. Oh god this isn't fair. This isn't fair at all.

Why did he have to come back in the first place?This had to be some type of joke.He said that...that he loved me...And now he's just left me.He didn't even say goodbye.

I have to follow him now. It's the only choice I have...


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

What am I going to do now? How am I going to find him? He could be anywhere by now. He could even be back in Russia.

Knowing Kirill I knew that he came here with someone else's name. He wouldn't come here using his own name. He's too smart to do that(and I know that too. He taught me how to do it.).

I needed to know more about Jason Bourne and where he was. But I knew that was going to be tricky too. He could be anywhere for all I knew. The only place I could think of was India.

Kirill said he mentioned that he was going there. I'm guessing that's where Bourne is,I thought. I guess I could find him there. But where in India? And where India? I mean...what if Bourne isn't even there.

Oh...right...the other thing that wouldn't leave me alone. The other part of my brain was telling me not to do this. It was telling me to listen to Kirill. But this wasn't my mission. I wasn't going to get thrown in jail for trying to kill someone.

I then started finding stuff on Jason Bourne. The thing that disturbed me the most was that he actually had killed people. He was a murder too. So why was Kirill after this guy? I had to find out. I had to do this now...

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

One step closer

By: Linkin Park

I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
'Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break

I'm about to break  
This room to breathe  
This room to breathe  
This room to breathe

I cannot take this anymore  
Saying everything I've said before  
All these words, they make no sence  
I found bliss in ignorance  
Less I hear, the less you say  
You'll find that out anyway  
I find the answers aren't so clear  
Wish I could find a way to disappear  
All these thoughts, they make no sence  
I found bliss in ignorance  
Nothing seems to go away  
Over and over again  
Just like before

Everything you say to me  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
And I'm about to break

Everything you say to me  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
And I'm about to break

These are the places where I can feel torn from my body  
My flesh, it peels during this ride we can cut upwhat we like  
I'm about to break  
Waiting alone, I cannot resist  
Feeling this hate, I have never missed  
Please, someone, give me a reason to rip off my face  
Blood is a pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring

Shut up when I'm talking to you  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up when I'm talking to you  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up  
I'm about to break

Everything you say to me  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
And I'm about to break

Everything you say to me  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
And I'm about to

Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
'Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break

Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
'Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to...  
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

That night before I went to sleep I kept looking at the letter that he had written me. Why didn't you even say that you loved me Kirill?You didn't even tell me that you were leaving me.

Are you afraid to tell me that you actually love me?Were we just playing games?Well I'm tired of playing games.I want someone to really love me. You hurt me Kirill. You really hurt me...


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 12

I knew this wasn't the smartest thing for me to do. Oh who was I kidding? This was this stupidest thing that I had ever done. But I was doing it now and no one was going to be able to stop me.

I didn't think that going to India first would be smart. I had to go to Moscow and ask around and ask people what was going on. But who? What if Kirill had told them that I had been out of the work force for a while and I wasn't coming back?

Now the question was: Should I go to India, or go to Russia? This didn't make any sense at all. I was getting too confused and I was getting way ahead of myself. I need to start in India,I thought. That's the only place I know where he is.

But what if he isn't and he's in Moscow? No…He would have to go to India first because that's where Jason Bourne is…and then he'll pick up the money in Moscow and…oh only God know what'll happen next. 

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 

I then started to get my stuff reading. My plane would be leaving for Goa, India in only a couple of hours and I couldn't be late. I'm going to find you Kirill. I want you to come back and be with me. You know that this is stupid.

I hated not listening to him though. But that didn't matter anymore. He knew that this was stupid. This should've never have happened in the first place to the both of us. But we didn't have anybody when we were younger. No one to love us or anything.

He never told me about his past though,and I never really told him about mine. My life had been a disaster since I was a child. My parents had died when our house caught on fire… and I just had to be there when it happened… I don't remember how old I was…but that's the only thing I remember…

I was pretty much an orphan after then…and then these people took me in and trained me to become an assassin…a trained killer. Having no emotion and wanted to go after the people who had destroyed my house I learned quickly…and then Kirill came in and everything changed.

He was sharp too. He barely ever talked though…sometimes I think that his life must have been pretty messed up to do the things that he did. It must have been messed up more than mine…

I started to get feelings for him after one of our victories. I didn't want to say anything though; having known the rules of being an assassin since I was young girl I knew what was going to happen if I said anything about love. We were bad people…that's what the world saw (and still does.)us as.

But we have feelings too. Doesn't anyone get that? We might not be perfect either,but we have feelings. But these feelings I have for him just won't go away…I love him so much and I have to find him now because I don't have a choice. And I don't care what happens. I just want to find him now.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 13

It was nice getting out of the house. But this was something more important than taking a vacation. I was going to look for the love of my life now. And I was scared to death. I didn't know what was going to happen now. 

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 

I can't remember what time I got to India,but I can remember that it was dark so it must have been close to midnight. But that didn't matter. I knew why I was here and I needed to find him. 

The first thing I had to do was figure out where I was going to stay. I decided to book a hotel close to the airport since I didn't have a lot of money(plus it was cheaper). I wanted to go down by the shore and walk across the water. But I had to find out more about Jason Bourne.

What I had already found out wasn't helping me at all. And plus there wasn't anything about the Russians trying to kill him or anything. That's probably because no one knew or cared about it. Everyone was trying to live normal,peaceful lives. Well,peace wasn't going to be happening for long.

I went outside and looked out from the balcony. This was a very pretty city. I would have loved to live here. But my home was in New York and I would have to go back soon once I found Kirill and we could go home together.

But we would tell me that…that would never be his home. He would tell me that nowhere would be his home because he never had a home. Well,I never really had a place to call home either. I looked down at saw someone walking. I couldn't tell who it was at first…but then I recognized him…it was Kirill. 

I wanted to go down there and talk to him…but then he looked up,and I knew at that moment that he had seen me. Oh god,I thought. What am I going to do now? I can't let him know that I'm here. I went back into the room and started to hesitate.

The door then opened..and there he was.

"I told you not to follow me,"he said as he walked closer to me.

"Kirill…" 

"Is anyone with you?"

"No…I came alone." 

"Why did you come?"

"Why do you think? I want you to come back. You know this is stupid."

"I don't have a choice."

"Yes you do! You can stop this now…you know that…"

"We already talked about this…"

I sat on the bed…god I just felt like I wanted to cry so badly… "You didn't even say goodbye… Don't you know how much you hurt me?"

"You came all this way for nothing."

"I came all this way to tell you that I love you…because I care about you."

He stopped and looked at me.

"I thought that you had feelings for me…and you even said that you cared about me."

"I can't leave them now,but I promised you I would come back."

"And what if you didn't? How am I supposed to deal with that? So…so am I guess all of that was a joke?" I started to leave,but he grabbed my arm and pulled me closer to him. 

"I'm…I'm sorry…"

I put my head on his chest and smiled. "You won't stop until you kill him will you?" 

"I don't have a choice now Nicole…But I want you to go home."

"How long do you have until you have to kill this guy?"

"Two days."

"Then stay with me…and when you leave…promise me you'll say goodbye."

He kissed me. "All right."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 14

I had a hard time sleeping that night. He was now finally by my side,only that he was going to have to leave me again. This wasn't right. I should tell him that we should leave now and forget about this. What was wrong with me?

I got up and went outside and looked out the balcony. It was such a pretty morning. I didn't want to do this Kirill,I thought. But I needed to see you again. I know that I can't stop you now. But I want to be with you…once more.

"Nicole?"asked a voice. It was Kirill. "What are you doing out here?"

"I…I couldn't sleep."

He stood by me and put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to him. I didn't want this moment to end. I felt so safe by his side. But he was an assassin. How was I supposed to live with that? 

"I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye."

"It's ok. It doesn't matter anymore."

"Yes it does. I didn't meant to hurt you."

I sighed. "I know. I understand." 

"I just…I guess I've never felt like this before…" 

"I know what you mean. I haven't either."

"Did you really mean that?"

"When I said that I loved you?" 

"Yes…"

"What are you going to say if I did mean it?"

"Just answer the question."  
"Yes…yes I meant it."

"I really don't know what to say…you know the rule…"

"But you said that you cared about me Kirill. Rules are meant to be broken once in a while."

"I guess so."

"And then what'll happen?"

"What?" 

"I just want to know what's going to happen after you kill this guy."

"I wish I knew."

"Why can I help you?"

"You quit."

"What they don't know won't hurt them."

"You know I didn't want you here in the first place."

"And nothing happened."

"I was afraid you would say that."

"Then what are you afraid of?"

"I don't want something to happen to you." 

"They don't know anything about me. This person doesn't know me either."

"He might…you never know…" 

"You're the one chasing him. Not me."

He went silent.

"What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "It's nothing."

"Ok."

"How long are you going to stay here?"

"I don't know. I hadn't really planned that."

"Stay here until I kill him."

"Ok…" 

"So I can tell you when everything's ok."

"All right. Then what…?"

"I don't know what will happen after that. That's all I'm going to tell you now." He started to walk back inside. He stopped and turned around.

He looked at me for a while and then walked back over to me. He put his arms around me and we embraced. I looked into his eyes,and for a moment,I didn't see the evil in him. I didn't see the assassin. I just saw a person who needed someone to love him. I wanted to be that person. 

"Why do you have to do this…?Why can't you just stay with me…?"I closed my eyes and smiled. 

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 

The sun was beginning to rise as we went back to the room. I got the feeling that Kirill was going to be leaving me soon. I sat on the bed and didn't say anything…well,more like hesitated to say something. I knew what was going to happen,I just didn't want to come back to reality.

I watched as he packed his things,but I didn't say anything. I was too mad at myself for not trying to stop him when I had the chance. Why didn't I stay home like I was suppose to,I thought. Then this wouldn't have happened.

Why did I let him into my house in the first place? That's what started in all…but then everything happened and couldn't stop them. I can't stop him from trying to kill this guy…that's his business…not mine.

"I'll be back in couple of hours,"he said.

I nodded and didn't say anything.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes,"I said faintly. "I'm fine." 

He kissed me. "I'll come back. Don't worry about me. Just stay here ok?"

I nodded. "Ok.

"Goodbye,"he then walked out of the room and left me.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 15

I waited for about fifteen minutes and then I got a phone call.

"Ok,what the hell did you do?"asked Kirill.

"You finally found out?"

"Tell me what the hell you did." 

"All right,fine… I wired you so you could find him faster."

"What about him?"

I smirked.

"I'm guessing that's a yes."

"It's the only way you're going to fined him faster."

"I thought you quit."

"I have my ways."

"Does he know?"

"As far as I'm concerned…no."

"How'd you do it?"

"I'm not telling!"

"You had better tell me when I get back." 

I looked at the computer. Jason was red,Kirill was green so I could get a clear shot of who was who. "I'll tell you all my secrets."

"I need to go. I'll be back in a second." 

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to get some more information,"and he hung up.

Why didn't you just stay in the car,I thought. I know where he is. I looked on the computer. Jason was a few meters from him. Holy crap. Kirill,get your ass back in the car right now.

About five minutes later the phone ran again.

"Do you see him?"he asked.

"Yeah. He's not far from you."

"Thanks."

I went silent for a second.

"Are you there?"

"Yeah-yeah." 

"You went dead silent for a minute."

"He's on the move again."

"I know. I see him."

"Are you sure you can pull this off?"

"Don't worry about me. I'm gonna go now. I'll call you back when the jobs finished,"and he hung up.

Hurry up Kirill,I thought.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 16

I turned the computer off. There's no point in watching now,I thought. He knows what he's doing. Just leave him alone. Just please come back Kirill. 

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 

About twenty minutes later the door swung open.

"We need to leave,"he said. "It's been taken care of."

"Where are you going?"

"I need to go back to Moscow. I want you to go home."

"What? You aren't coming?"

"I'm already late. You need to go home."

I sighed. "Ok." 

He stopped and looked at me. "Are you all right?"

I sat on the bed. "Yeah. I'm fine."

He put his arm around my shoulder. "Everything's going to be fine now. But…"he went silent.

"What? What is it?"

"I haven't been quite honest."

"What are you talking about?"

"I did something in Berlin. You can't tell anyone."

"What did you do?"

"I killed two people."

"Is….is that the reason…?"

"Yeah,"he said faintly.

"I…I don't understand."

"I'll tell you later. I need to get you home."

"No. You need to tell me now. Tell me what the hell you did in Berlin and why you killed those people."

"You wouldn't understand."

"Yes I would."

"You remember Neski?"

"Oh god…The files…That's why you killed those people? That's why you're after Jason?"

"Yeah." 

"Holy crap."

"You have to swear not to tell anyone or I'm seriously gonna kill you."

"But why the files?"

"He needed something. Look,we need to leave now." 

I sighed. "All right. I promise not to tell anyone." 

"All right. Let's go."


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 17

What the hell did he want with the Neski files,I thought. What was in it for him? Was there something else that he wasn't telling me? He's told me enough. This is all I need to know. I didn't need to know anymore.

It didn't take us too long to get the airport. I hated leaving this place. It really was a nice place. But the job was finished now and now I could go home.

We got out of the car and went to my gate. I didn't want him to leave me…but his job wasn't over yet. He still had stuff to car of. 

"Don't follow me to Moscow,"he said.

I nodded. "All right."

"I'll come to your house after I get my money."

I nodded again,and this time I didn't say anything.

He kissed me. "Everything's going to be ok now."

"Why did you do it? Why did you kill those men?"I whispered so no one could hear me.

"I can't talk about that now. I'll tell you later. I need to go. I'm late."

I sighed. "All right."

"Hey. You should be happy."

"I know. I'm just wondering if…"

"If what?"

"What if he isn't dead?"

"He's dead Nicole. He drowned in the river. Now don't worry about it and get on your plane or you're going to miss it."

"Let me come back to you to Moscow." 

"Only if you want to get killed."

"They don't care."

"Let's not argue about this. Get on your plane and go home."

I sighed. "Ok."

He kissed me again. "I love you,"and he walked off.

"I love you too,"I whispered. Just promise me that you won't leave me again,I thought. I can't live without you. 

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 

None of this made sense at all. Why did he want those files so badly? Or why did they want the files so badly? Did they want Jason to come out of hiding or did they want him to get caught?

I needed to find out more. I had read enough about Neski in the past. He and his wife were shot and that's about it. But was there more? Did Jason Bourne kill them and was that the reason why Kirill was going after him? I just wish I knew more… 

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 

I got home in the late morning hours. It was nice to be home for a change. But I still wanted to go back to India. I could have called that place my home. But I wasn't finished with my job. I needed to find out more,and quickly. But I was interrupted by the phone.

"Hello?"I asked.

"I'll be there in a couple of hours,"said Kirill.

"Ok."

"Is everything all right?"

"Yes. Everything's fine. They don't know…do they?"

"No."

I sighed. "Oh thank god."

"Don't worry about it. Everything's been taken care of. Is his wire still on?"

I checked the computer. "No. It must have come off when he was in the river." 

"They'll probably call me if he's still alive." 

"How long are you staying?"

"I only have a month…and then I have to go back. That's all I know."

"What about the Neski files?"

"It's been taken care of." 

"Ok."

"I thought you quit."

"I did Kirill…I just want to know more…"

"There's nothing more that you need to know."

"I want to know about the men in Berlin Kirill."

"They had the Neski files." 

"That's why you killed them?"

"I didn't have a choice."

"There's something else isn't there? You wouldn't have done that unless there was money involved." 

"$300,000."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah." 

"Did you steal it?"

"I gave it to them,I got half."

"Oh…"

"Everything's over now." 

"Unless he's still alive."

"I told you that everything was taken care didn't I?"

I sighed. "Yes." 

"Then stop worrying so much all right?"

"Ok." 

"I'll see you in a couple of hours."

"Ok." 

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"Bye,"and he hung up.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 18

A couple of hours went by quickly. I couldn't wait for him to knock on the door or ring the doorbell. I would be happy knowing that everything was going to be ok. Please hurry up Kirill,I thought. I can't wait any longer.

About two minutes later the doorbell rang. I ran downstairs and opened the door…and there he was. I was so happy that I couldn't talk.

"Hi,"he said. He kissed me and walked into the house. "You think I'd lie to you?"

"I never said that."

"You looked pretty worried to me."

"I was happy to see you."

He kissed me again. "I'm glad."

"So,what are they going to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"When you have to go back in a month…what are they going to do?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. Don't worry about it."

"Well,I should worry about it."

"They'll probably say I'm done. This was it."

"And…?"

"And if he isn't dead then I have to track him down again until he is."

"Oh…ok."

He put his hand on my face. "Don't worry about it. He's not alive and you shouldn't worry."

"It's just nice to see you again."

"Oh I was only gone for a couple of hours."

I sighed and sat down on the couch.

"What's wrong?"

I shook my head. "It's nothing."

"Something's wrong."

"I've been having flashbacks again."

"Like?"

"The day my parents died…"

"Oh."

"I don't know why though."

"Anything else?"

I shook my head. "No."

"It'll go away soon."

I swallowed. "Have…have you every had those?"

He went silent and shook his head. "No."

You've got to be lying to me Kirill,I thought. I can tell when you're lying. But I didn't press the matter. "Oh,"was the only thing I said.

"It shouldn't be serious."

How would you know,I thought. You just said that you've never had those. Are you lying to me? "Yeah."

He put his arm around my shoulder and we embraced…and for the first time I really saw him smile. I could tell that he was really happy.

Why are we considered evil,I thought. I'm not looking at an evil person right now,I thought. Why would anyone think that he's evil?


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 19

I started not to worry so much about the files. I was just glad that he was here with me. Nothing else mattered now but having him with me. But I had to come back to reality. He was going to be leaving me in less than a month. Oh well. I might as well enjoy the days he was going to be spending with me

But something else wasn't right. What if Bourne wasn't dead? Then Kirill would have to leave me and start chasing him again. This wasn't going to be fair. But then again,nothing in life was supposed to be fair.

Don't leave me,I thought. What ever you do,don't leave me Kirill… 

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 

One step closer

By: Linkin Park

I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
'Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break

I'm about to break  
This room to breathe  
This room to breathe   
This room to breathe

I cannot take this anymore  
Saying everything I've said before  
All these words, they make no sence   
I found bliss in ignorance  
Less I hear, the less you say   
You'll find that out anyway  
I find the answers aren't so clear  
Wish I could find a way to disappear  
All these thoughts, they make no since  
I found bliss in ignorance  
Nothing seems to go away  
Over and over again  
Just like before 

Everything you say to me  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
And I'm about to break 

Everything you say to me  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
And I'm about to break

These are the places where I can feel torn from my body  
My flesh, it peels during this ride we can cut upwhat we like  
I'm about to break  
Waiting alone, I cannot resist  
Feeling this hate, I have never missed  
Please, someone, give me a reason to rip off my face  
Blood is a pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring

Shut up when I'm talking to you  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up when I'm talking to you  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up  
I'm about to break

Everything you say to me  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
And I'm about to break

Everything you say to me  
And I'm about to break   
I need a little room to breathe  
And I'm about to 

Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe   
'Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break

Everything you say to me

Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
'Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to 

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 

"Nicole! Nicole wake up!"said Kirill.

"What…what happened?"

"Are you all right?"

"Yes…I'm fine."

"Were you having a nightmare again?"

They aren't nightmares,I thought. They're flashbacks… I shook my head. "No. It…it was something else…"

I got out of the bed and went to the bathroom and took some medicine. I stopped and looked at the mirror for a second. Calm down,I thought. Everything's going to be ok. He's still here with you. What's wrong? He hasn't left you.

"Are you sure you're all right?"he said.

I nodded.

He put his hand on my forehead. "You're sick."

"I just took some medicine. I'll be fine."

"Are you…scared?"

"About what?"

"About me leaving…if I have to?"

I sighed. "No. I just don't feel good. I'll be fine ok. Don't worry about it." I walked out of the bathroom and sat on the bed. 

He walked over to me and put his hand on mine. "I could hear you know."

I started breathing harder and harder.

He sat down on the bed and put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to him. "I know you're scared Nicole."

"I don't want you to leave me. I'm always getting these visions that something's going to happen to you."

He kissed me. "Nothing's going to happen to me. I told you the job was finished didn't I?"

I nodded. "Yes."

He kissed me again. "Then don't worry about it. I want to stay here with you." 

I smiled and said nothing.

"Now go back to sleep. Everything's going to be ok. I love you and nothing's going to happen." He smiled and went back to sleep.

I just sat there and looked at him. How can you sleep and not worry about what's going to happen? What if something does happen Kirill and I can't do anything about it? What if…oh god. I don't even want to think about that.

Maybe I'm just being stupid. Maybe nothing's going to happen and I'm just over thinking this. I should just trust his words. Everything's going to be ok. He's going to be ok and nothing's going happen. 

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 

I got off the bed and went downstairs into the kitchen to get something to drink. I looked at the clock. It was close to 6:30. I didn't want to go back upstairs. I would probably just get upset again.

But I knew that something wasn't right. In my heart I knew that something wasn't right. Something told me that Jason Bourne was still alive. I should just try to find him and kill him myself. But then again,this is none of my business.

I went to the living room and took out my laptop. I started to hear something beeping. Oh crap,I thought. I knew that I was right. I knew that he was still alive. But I couldn't tell Kirill. I shut off my computer so he wouldn't know anything. Oh god,I thought. Please don't tell me he heard the beeping noise.

I started to hear footsteps. I shut off my laptop and put it under the couch so he wouldn't see it.

"There you are,"he said as he found me. "You scared me there. I thought you had left." He smiled and walked over to me and kissed me.

"I wouldn't have any reason to leave." 

"What's wrong?"

"I couldn't go back to sleep."

"I see…"

I went silent.

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine."

He felt my forehead again. "You're fever's coming down. That's good."

"Yeah."

He sat down on the couch and kissed me. I put my head on his lap and went back to sleep.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 20

The day was so peaceful. I didn't want it to end. But I knew it was going to have to. Should I tell him,I thought. No. Then he would leave me. And I didn't want that. I didn't want him to leave me after all we've been through.

What's wrong them me? Why can't I just tell him? He'll just go off again,and hopefully kill the guy this time. But I don't want that…because I know everything now. But like usual,I wanted to know more. I wanted to go deeper into this…this thing that was going on.

But nothing had happened since the day we had left India. No one had called him,no one had told him to go back to Russia(because it hadn't been a month yet.),or anything. And it was nice. I was starting to enjoy myself. Most of all,I was enjoying having him here with me. 

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 

The next morning the phone started to ring. I woke up,and Kirill wasn't beside me. Oh god,I thought. Please don't tell me… 

About five minutes later he came marching in the room.

"I need to go back,"he said.

"It hasn't been a month yet." 

"Yeah I know."

"How do they know he's still alive?"

He shook his head. "I don't know."

"You don't have to do this Kirill."

"He's supposed to be dead."

"This is stupid and you know it."

"I thought we talked about this."

"And I don't want you to leave."

"I don't have a choice."

"Yes you do!"

He grabbed my hand. "Stop it!"

I looked at him. I wanted to cry so badly. This is was stupid! Why did he have to leave me? Didn't he know that he had a choice?

"I can't back out of this now Nicole. I told you that,"he said calmly as he let go of my arm.

"Yes you can…"

"It's so easy for you."

"This has never been easy for me Kirill." 

"You have a life."

"And so do you. This is stupid and you know it."

"I need to leave now. Don't try to stop me or come after me. Leave me alone."

He packed his things and started to head downstairs,and I followed. "Kirill please. For the love of God don't do this now!"

"We've already been over this a million times Nicole."

"But I love you…"

He walked over and put his hand on my face. "I know you do Nicole. And I love you too. But I don't have a choice. The job isn't finished."

Oh I should have just told him about yesterday,I thought. "Ok…"

"You aren't going to stop me?"

I shook my head. "You do want you need to do. I'll stay here."

He kissed me. "I love you Nicole." 

"I love you too Kirill."

"I'll call you when I get there all right?"

I nodded. "Ok."

He smiled and kissed me again. "Don't cry. I'm not worth crying over."

"Yes you are…you are to me."

"Don't kid yourself."

"I know. I'm just being stupid." 

"Don't say that. Well. I gotta go. I love you,"and he walked out the door and left me.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 21

Why am I not going to follow him,I thought. Why am I not getting on a flight to Moscow? What is wrong with me? This isn't like me…

I just sat on my couch,not doing anything,just waiting for him to call. It had been about five hours since he had left and there was still no phone call. He's probably still on the plane,I thought. I shouldn't worry about this.

I wonder if his wire is still on him. No…I bet he took it off.

Guess what? I was wrong about that though. Because about an hour later I got a phone call from him.

"Hello?"I asked as I answered the phone.

"Good. You're still there,"he said.

"I wouldn't have any reason to leave."

"I thought you would have chased after me."

"No. I listened to you this time."

"Am I still wired?"

"Hang on. Let me check." I pulled my laptop from under the couch and turned it on. Yep,he's still wired,I thought. And Jason's somewhere in Moscow….still wired.

"Well?"

"Yes you are." 

"What about Bourne?"

I hesitated for a second. "Yes…"

"Are you serious?"

"Kirill…there's something I need to tell you."

His voice changed. "What is it?"

"Jason was in Italy just two days ago."

"I thought I heard beeping coming from your laptop."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"Why didn't you tell me?" 

"Why do you think Kirill? I was scared. I didn't want you to leave me…"

He sighed. "It's ok."

"Ok." 

"How far is he?"

"Kirill,he's about a day away from you."

"Really?"

I nodded. "Yes." 

"Are you all right?"

"Just don't die."

"I promised you I'd come back."

"That was the first time." 

"Then I promise you again."

"I just want to see you again."

"It's only been a couple of hours Nicole." 

"It's been about six hours Kirill."

"You've actually been keeping track?"

"Yes."

"Don't worry about me Nicole."

"I have to Kirill. I love you." 

"I love you too Nicole. But I will come back all right?" 

"Ok." I just wish you were by my side right now Kirill. It seems so weird that you're not…

"Call me if you need anything ok?"

"All right." I let out a sniffle.

"Hey now. It's going to be ok."

"I just hate you not being here."

"I know you do Nicole. I wish I was there right now too. But you know I'm not done."

I sighed. "I know."  
"I'll find him and I'll kill him this time and then everything will be over for sure and we can live together and we won't have to worry about this."  
How can you be so sure,I thought. "Ok."

"I need to go. I need to get some sleep. I love you."

"I love you too."

"Bye." 

"Bye,"and I hung up the phone.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 22

I have to get out of here,I thought. I need to get out of here now and tell Kirill to come back. Or I have to talk to Jason… Either way I'm probably going to end up getting myself killed. Oh god. This is so stupid! Oh how much I hate my life right now.

But I have to get to him. I don't care when or how. I just need to get to him. I need to talk him out of this. Or…I can see him one last time…But I need to see him somehow. He's been in Moscow for at least two days now. I need to see him. 

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 

A couple hours later I was on a flight to Moscow. I have to lie to him and tell him that I needed a vacation. I hope he doesn't notice that I'm here though. Oh he'll figure it out though. I'm not trying to hide anything.

I looked out the window as the plane was getting closer to the airport. I started to cough really bad. I had been like this for a couple days now. This wasn't like me though. I wasn't known to getting sick. Now I hope he doesn't see me,I thought. 

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 

When I got out of the airport I went straight to the hotel. I didn't want to get caught right away like I did last time. But something was going to happen…something I never expected to happen. He was already there…

I knew that something wasn't right at first. Something just didn't seem right. I turned the handle on the doorknob. The door swung open. How was I able to get in the room without using the key,I thought. Something isn't right here…

I went into the room,and the lights turned on…and there he was. 

"Kirill…?"

"I thought I told you not to come."

"I'm on vacation."

"Don't lie to me."

"How did you know I was here?"

"Why did you lie to me?"

"Answer my question first."

"You didn't answer the phone when I called. I thought something was up." 

"I'm sorry I lied."

"I told you not to come." 

I sat on the bed and started to cough again.

"Are you ok?"

I nodded.

His eyes softened. He put his hand on my forehead. "You're still sick. You shouldn't be here."

"I'm sorry…But you know I much I hate this…" 

He went into the bathroom and got me some pills and some water and came back into the room. "Here. Take these,"he said as he handed me the pills and the glass of water.

I obeyed.

He sat on the bed beside me. "How long have you been like this?" 

"A couple of days now. It's nothing serious."

"You shouldn't have come here and you know that."

"I was tired of you leaving me."

"I don't have a choice. You know that. At least I said goodbye."

"And what if something happens?"

"Nothing is going to happen. Nothing happened last time."

"That was different."

"And nothing is going to be different about this time. You're not leaving the hotel right now I'll tell you that much. You're lucky you aren't dead. It's colder here than in New York."

"I know that and I don't care."

"What?"

"I care about you!"

"Stop risking your life for me."

"I love you."

"I love you too. But you're sick."

"And this is stupid!" I started coughing again.

"Shhhhhhhhh…Calm down. You need to get some rest."

"I don't want you to leave me."

"I know you don't Nicole. But I don't have much of a choice."

"Yes you do. You can stop this right now Kirill."

"I'm not going to die."

"What if you do?"

"I'm not afraid to die Nicole."

"I'm not afraid to die either Kirill."

"You aren't going anywhere."

"I at least got this far."

"You're lucky I'm not making you go back home…which you should." 

"Stop reminding me."

"Then why did you come here in the first place?"

"I needed to see you one more time Kirill."

"Why do you care so much?"

"Because I love you. You said you loved me too."

"I know I do." 

"You wouldn't risk your life for me?"

"This is different Nicole. It was so damn easy for you to just walk away. It's not easy for me."

We started to hear footsteps. Crap,I thought. Don't you dare tell me that you told them I was here!

"Hide,now!"

I nodded and hid for about five minutes until he came to get me. "Who the hell was that?"

"They know you're here."

"You're not serious."

"I'm dead serious….and I think they know."

"Dammit." 

"You need to leave now."

"No."

"What?" 

"Not unless you come with me."

He shook his head. "Then you're going to get killed."

"Let them kill me. I don't care anymore."

"I care about you."

"And I care about you and this is stupid."

"I don't have a choice. Get the hell out of here."

"No…You come with me."

"Nicole…stop!"

"I'm not leaving! I don't care what they do to me."

"You're being stupid."

"I don't care…"

He sighed. "All right. I'll stay with you."

"You will?"

"Someone needs to stay with you,and I can tell you aren't going anywhere." 

"Thanks."

He kissed me and looked me in the eyes. "I'm only doing this because I love you."


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 23

I had a really hard time sleeping that night. I couldn't stop worrying about him. I knew it was stupid,but I did love him and I did care about him. What the hell was wrong with me? Why was I stupid enough to come here in the first place?

My body was getting weaker. But I needed to hold on. I couldn't leave him now. I loved him too much to leave him now. I was probably just being weak,not my body. I tried not to cough too much though.

I had my back turned to him so I didn't know if he was still awake or not. I coughed again. Oh dammit,I thought. I probably just woke him up!

"Nicole?"he asked. He turned over and looked at me. I closed me eyes,pretending to be asleep. He kissed my cheek. "Are you asleep?"

I shook my head and turned over.

"Still don't feel good?"

"Not really."

He got off the bed and went back to the bathroom to get me some medicine. "You know you shouldn't have come here." He walked back to me and gave me the pills and a glass of water.

"Stop reminding me,"I said after I took them.

"It's for your own good."

I sighed and didn't say anything.

"How long did you know he was still alive?"

I knew what he was talking about. "I knew about it the day before you left."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why do you think? I didn't want you to leave."

"I was going to have to leave anyways."

"Yeah I know."

"And…"

"You didn't have a choice. Well,I didn't have much of a choice either."

"You could have stayed home like I told you to."

"And you could have stayed with me."

"You're wrong."

"God I wish I was."

"You think it's so easy."

"It wasn't easy…"I said calmly.

"What?"

"Nothing is every easy Kirill. It wasn't easy having to walk away from that life…it wasn't easy seeing you again either…"

He sighed and put his arm around my shoulder.

"It wasn't easy seeing my parents die right in front of my eyes when I was nine years old."

"Is that why…?"

"Why what?" 

"Is that the reason why you joined?"

"Yes." 

"Why?"

"Because I needed to get revenge. So they dragged my butt into the operation and there I was. I didn't think I had a choice to leave…plus I enjoyed it."

"Really?" 

"Do you think many nine year olds get to handle a shot gun? God that was fun."

"Then why did you leave?"

"There wasn't any point. After you came they didn't really need me any more. I didn't have to go to missions so I thought there wasn't any point in staying. But it wasn't easy…"I started coughing again.

"Are you all right?"

I nodded,still coughing. "Yeah…I'm fine. Nothing I can't handle."

"You should get some rest."

"When are you leaving?"

"I don't know yet. I think I need to stay here and take care of you for a while."

"Sounds good."

He kissed me on the forehead. "Get some sleep."


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 24

Sleep was the only thing I didn't feel like getting. I felt like crap,and plus he was leaving me soon. I hated having this feeling that he might not come back this time… I felt like I was being stupid though. He's going to be fine,I thought. Everything's going to be ok.

I tried to go back to sleep,hoping that everything was going to be ok. I hated having to feel like this,especially with him here. I still wondered how he found me in the first place. He had probably hacked into my stuff because I hadn't picked up the phone when he had called me. I knew he wasn't stupid.

I looked at him and smiled and tried to get some sleep… 

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 

One step closer

By: Linkin Park

I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
'Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break

I'm about to break  
This room to breathe  
This room to breathe   
This room to breathe

I cannot take this anymore  
Saying everything I've said before  
All these words, they make no sence   
I found bliss in ignorance  
Less I hear, the less you say   
You'll find that out anyway  
I find the answers aren't so clear  
Wish I could find a way to disappear  
All these thoughts, they make no sence  
I found bliss in ignorance  
Nothing seems to go away  
Over and over again  
Just like before 

Everything you say to me  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
And I'm about to break 

Everything you say to me  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
And I'm about to break

These are the places where I can feel torn from my body  
My flesh, it peels during this ride we can cut upwhat we like  
I'm about to break  
Waiting alone, I cannot resist  
Feeling this hate, I have never missed  
Please, someone, give me a reason to rip off my face  
Blood is a pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring  
And pouring

Shut up when I'm talking to you  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up when I'm talking to you  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up  
Blood is pouring  
Shut up  
I'm about to break

Everything you say to me  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
And I'm about to break

Everything you say to me  
And I'm about to break   
I need a little room to breathe  
And I'm about to 

Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe   
'Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break

Everything you say to me  
Takes me one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to break  
I need a little room to breathe  
'Cause I'm one step closer to the edge  
And I'm about to… 

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 

I soon felt someone trying to wake me up and I suddenly woke up. My breathing was starting to get harder and harder.

"Nicole! Oh god. You're finally awake,"he said. "Are you all right?" 

I sighed and nodded.

"What's wrong?"

I shook my head. "It's nothing."

"Stop it Nicole. I know you're lying to me. What's wrong?"

"I've been having nightmares about my past again."

"Do you know why?"

I shook my head. "It might just be because I'm sick."

"What are they about?"

I sighed. "Different things…things I don't want to remember…"

"Like what…?"

"Different missions…having to see my parents die over and over again. I hate it!"

He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer to him. "Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… It's going to be ok."

"Why did you join?"

"What?" 

"Why did you join? Why did you want?"

He sighed. "Because my past was like yours…but I was never really truly happy."

"Oh."

"But you know I shouldn't be telling you things like this. We're not supposed to give away information about our past."

"Do you think they really care?"

He smirked. "You're very stubborn."

"You can be too sometimes."

He smiled and kissed me. "Are you going to be ok?"

I nodded. "Yes."

"Get some sleep. I'm not going to leave you for a while so everything's going to be ok."

"For how long?"

"What?" 

"How long is everything going to be ok?"

"Nicole…stop." 

I sighed. "Sorry."

"I'm not going to leave you ok?"

"Ok."

"I don't want to do this either…but I really don't have a choice."

I sighed. "I know. Stop reminding me."

"Everything will be over when this can stop."

"After he's dead you mean."

"Yes." 

"Does he really have to be dead?"

"Yes." 

"Ok."

"You wouldn't understand."

Good point,I thought. I sighed. "I just wish I could go back." 

"After this there won't be any point to go back. But why would you want to go back?"

"Because I have you now." 

"I'm just an assassin Nicole. I'm a bad person and that's all I am."

"Not to me you're not Kirill. To me you're something more and you know that."

He smiled and we embraced. "Would you really want to go back?"

"To be with you…yes."

"You're not lying?"

"I wouldn't have any point to."

"Then you can help me." 

"How?"

"By tracking him down for me again." 

"Ok."

"Can you do that for me?"

I nodded. "Yes."

He kissed me again. "That would mean so much to me."

"Are you still wired?"

"Haven't taken it off."

"Good. But when are you supposed to be leaving?"

He sighed. "I don't know that yet. But you need to get some sleep. You're going to get worse if you don't get some sleep."

"What about you?"

"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine."


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 25

How could I not worry about him? He was the only person I cared about,so I had to worry about him. Oh what the hell was wrong with me now?

I would do anything to go back to being an assassin. But I wouldn't be able to love him anymore. I knew that rule…but he did to. He took risks though. I didn't…well…at least I didn't try to. I never wanted something to happen to me. 

I still had a hard time sleeping that night. I didn't want to have to go back to sleep and think about my past again. So I just tried to stay quiet and hopefully I wouldn't wake him up again. 

The sun was starting to rise again and I had barely gotten any sleep. It sucked too. I hated feeling like this because I had never really been sick my whole entire life until now.

Kirill turned over and put his hand on my shoulder. "Are you awake?"he whispered in my ear.

I nodded. "Yes." I turned over and faced him.

"You haven't gotten any sleep have you?"

I shook my head and didn't look at him.

He put his hand on my forehead. "Your fever's coming down. That's good."

I still didn't say anything.

He kissed me. "Are you all right?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I'm fine."

"Tell me if something's wrong."

I sighed. I couldn't lie to him anymore. "I didn't want to dream about my past again. That's why I didn't get any sleep."

"I see."

"And…"I went silent.

"What is it?"

"It's not just things about my past Kirill…I keep seeing the future too and something bad always happens."

"Like…?"

"I see you dying…"

He kissed me again. "Everything's going to be all right."

"But what if something does happen Kirill? What if I'm right?"

"Nothing's going to happen Nicole. You know that."

I sighed again.

"You need to get some sleep all right?"

"I'm just so sick of it."

"Sick of what?"

"I'm just so sick of seeing those dreams. I just don't know what to do anymore."

He kissed me again. "What you need to do is get some sleep for me ok? I don't want you to get worse."

"What if they come back?"

"They won't. They won't know we're here anymore."

I smiled. "You always have a plan don't you?" 

"It always works. Now get some sleep Nicole."

"Are you going somewhere?"

"No. I can't now because I need to take care of you."

I smiled and went back to sleep…hoping that I would have good dreams.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 26

Kirill was still by my side when I woke up a few hours later. My fever was starting to come down,but I wasn't feeling any better. My sinuses were killing me too. And not to mention I had a really bad headache too. Kirill wouldn't leave me though(which was kind of a good thing because I didn't want him to leave me in the first place.).

I seriously hated feeling like this. Now I knew what it was like to get sick. It sucked too because I really wanted to get the hell out of this hotel for once. But I knew that wouldn't be smart because I knew that they would end up finding me and then Kirill and I would both be in danger.

"Hi,"he said as I started to wake up. He bent down and we embraced. "Feeling better?"

I shook my head. "No. Not really."

"Hang on. I'll be right back." He went back into the bathroom to get me some more medicine. "You're lucky I have these."

"When did you leave?"

"I left while you were sleeping. I didn't want to wake you."

"Thank you."

"For what?" 

"For taking care of me."

"Don't worry about it. No need to think me."

There is a reason to thank you,I thought. You saved my life. I probably would be in the hospital by now.

He put his hand on my forehead again. "Hopefully this will help."

"Yeah…"

"I need to leave tomorrow Nicole."

"Ok."

"Can you help me?" 

I nodded. "I'll try to." I started coughing again.

He put his hand on my shoulder and looked at me. "I don't want you to do anything if you still feel like this ok?"

I nodded. "Ok."

He kissed me again. "I can't believe I'm saying this…but I'm really glad you're here. Even though you shouldn't be here."

"I know."

"I hate feeling lonely sometimes."

"I thought you enjoyed being lonely."

"People change Nicole."

"I didn't think you would ever change Kirill."

He sighed. "I know." 

I looked at him in the eye as he turned away. He then looked back at me.

"What?"

I shook my head. "Oh. It's nothing."

He smiled and kissed me again.

"You might want to be careful. I am sick you know."

"I don't care. I get to stay with you more."

"I don't want you getting sick Kirill."

"I've never gotten sick in my life Nicole. I think I'll be ok."

"You never know. I've never gotten sick in my life and look what happened to me."

He kissed me again. "I know."

I sighed. I knew nothing was going to change his mind. "When are you leaving tomorrow?"

"I don't know yet."

"Oh."

"Probably in the afternoon."

"Don't worry. I promise to tell you goodbye. Nothing is going to happen to me all right? So stop worrying."

"Ok."


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 27

I know I shouldn't worry about you Kirill,I thought. I love you. You know that this is stupid and that you don't have to do this. Why can't you just stay here with me? I never want you to leave my side again. Please don't leave my side…

I was gradually starting to get better. I didn't want to go anywhere though(plus Kirill wouldn't let me). I just wanted to stay here and be with him. I never wanted him to leave my side again. I loved him too much. But then I needed to come back to reality. He was an assassin. He wasn't supposed to love anyone. But he loved me… 

Tomorrow was inching closer and closer. How I didn't want him to leave me. But I knew he was going to. And I couldn't stop him now. I wanted to hate him for having to leave me. But that wouldn't change anything.

He was gone for most of the day. He needed to get stuff to make sure that I would get better. I didn't want to get into my laptop because I knew that if I did that he would start to chase Jason. I didn't know how badly he wanted to kill someone until now. This didn't make any sense though. But I didn't care anymore. I knew that I was never going to able to stop him from doing this.

I stayed in bed waiting for him…just waiting. I just wanted to make sure that he was ok. I didn't want anything to happen to him now. I didn't want anything to happen to him tomorrow. I didn't want anything to happen to him at all. Doesn't he know how much I love him,I thought. Maybe I can be the one to stop this.

The door then swung open and there he was.

"I need to leave now,"he said.

"What? Why?"

"They know where he is."

"But you weren't supposed to leave until tomorrow."

"I have to go now Nicole. I'll get him this time."

"Let me come with you."

He shook his head. "No. You'll get hurt. You need to stay here and get better."

"I'm fine."

"Stop it. You're being stupid."

"No. I love you. You don't have to do this."

"I don't have a choice Nicole. You know that." 

"Yes you do."

"Nothing's going to happen. I'm going to be fine."

"He's more dangerous than you think."

"You know nothing about him. I'm sorry. But I need to leave now." He tried to kiss me but I pulled away. "You wanted me to say goodbye."

I looked at him. "Why are you doing this?"

"What?"

"Why are you doing this? What's the whole point?"

"You wouldn't understand." 

"I never understand. Kirill,I've been there. I know what it's like."

"This isn't any different and you know that. But I'm sorry. I need to go,"he kissed me and left the room.

Dammit,I thought. The one chance I had and I blew it. God dammit. I've got to stop this now. I don't have a choice either.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 28

I waited for about fifteen minutes and I got the hell out of there. I have to find him now,I thought. I have to stop this now because I don't have any other choice. But before I left I saw the little note that Kirill had left me.

Dear Nicole,  
I'm sorry I have to leave you like this. If something does happen and I don't make it through this, I want you to look in my coat pocket because there's something in there for you that I wanted to give to you (if you do come after me, which I hope you don't. Something might happen and I don't want you to get hurt. Please wait until I'm at the hospital.). If the worse does happen, I want you to keep so you can think of me. I don't know what's going to happen now. I want to make it through this because I want to see you again. I love you. I really do. But I need to go now. I love you… Goodbye. 

Love,  
Kirill

I sat back on the bed and covered my mouth with my hand. Oh my god,I thought. He… he really does love me. At this point I really wanted to cry. What am I going to do now,I thought. Please come back to me Kirill. You know you don't have to do this.

I wasn't going to stand for this. I had to stop this right now. Hopefully he wasn't going to call me any time soon because I had to stop this. I'm coming for you Kirill. I'm going to put a stop to this right now whether you like it or not. I'm sorry…but I have to do this. 

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 

I ran out of the hotel and stole a car(because I had nothing else at the time and it was the only thing I could do.) and tried to hurry to Kirill. I figured that he would be in downtown Moscow because that's where Jason was.

Where are you Kirill,I thought. Why aren't you coming up on my laptop? Did you take your wire off? He probably did because he might have found Jason already. Dammit…I can't see anything in this crap. There's too much cars.

Kirill finally came up on my laptop again. He was right where I thought he'd be. Thank god,I thought. Now I know where he is. Now I just have to try not to get caught. It'll take me about five minutes to get to where he is if I can just speed it up a little bit.

Then I realized something. Jason was coming closer and closer my way. Oh this isn't good,I thought. Now I need to make sure that both of them don't see me. Well,Jason doesn't really matter because he doesn't know what I look like. But Kirill does and he'll kill me if he sees me doing this. But I don't have a choice either.

I decided to get into a different lane so he wouldn't see me. But the traffic was getting worse and it was slowing down. And then I saw him…


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 29

Crap,I thought. I need to find a way out of here now. Kirill was serious about this guy. But I can't turn back now. I have to end this.

About five minutes later my cell phone started to ring.

"What the hell are you doing!"asked Kirill.

"I have to stop this."

"You're going to get killed!"

"I don't have a choice…"

"Go back to the hotel. Now!"

"No Kirill…not this time…" 

"He's going to kill you."

"He doesn't even know what I look like."

"You need to leave now." 

"No!" But I wasn't watching the road and a car slammed into me. I thought I was dead… but to my surprise I was ok. 

"Nicole!"

"I'm…I'm ok…"

"I told you something was going to happen. Are you all right?"

"My arms bleeding. But I'll be ok."

"Dammit. I don't think I can get to you."

I sighed. "Don't worry about me. Just go find Jason."

"Are you sure?"

"I need to try to stop the bleeding for as long as I can. You need to go find Jason."

He went silent for a little bit and I almost thought I had lost him. "All right. Wait for me… unless something happens. You know what to do."

"Where?"

"By the tunnel. You know where it is right?"

"Yeah." 

"I'll be there soon."

"Ok."

"Are you sure you're going to be all right?"

"Yes Kirill. I'm going to be fine."

"Ok. I love you."

"I love you too,"and I hung up the phone. 

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 

I tried to get my car to the tunnel as soon as I could. It was in pretty bad shape,but the traffic was even worse with all the cars running into each other. But I wasn't worried about that at the moment. I was worried about Kirill.

And then something happen that I had wished would have never happened. And I saw it too…


	31. Chapter 31

Epilogue 

I saw Kirill chasing Jason through the tunnel. Oh god,I thought. Get out of there now Kirill! Shots were fired…and he lost it. Jason slammed him right into the wall of the tunnel. I closed my eyes for a second,hoping that it was just a dream. No! This was all just a dream! He's going to be alive…he's going to be ok… Someone please tell me that he's going to be ok…

I waited for Kirill to get out of the SUV,but nothing happened. All I could see was Jason leaving the tunnel. I waited for a second and hoped that he hadn't seen me. I got out of the car and walked into the tunnel and towards the SUV.

Then I started to run to the SUV. I stopped and looked it…and I couldn't believe what I saw. His head was bleeding badly. His eyes were closed…and he wasn't moving. No…No…I thought. This couldn't have happened. This is all just a dream. It's all just a bad dream and I need to wake up from this horrible nightmare now.

But I had to come to reality. He was gone…and he wasn't coming back now. I'm so sorry Kirill,I thought. I'm so sorry! I could have stopped you from doing this. You didn't need to go this way. It didn't have to end like this…

I reached into his pocket like the note said I should. There was a little black box. I hesitated to open it. By then the police were coming so I needed to get out of there fast. I decided I would have to wait until I got back to the hotel to open the box. 

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ 

I went back to the empty hotel room and sat on the bed,not knowing what to do. I was just so shaken up. I was scared now because I didn't know what to do. I wanted to stay here. Maybe Kirill isn't really dead,I thought. Maybe he's going to be ok…

I took the black box out of my coat pocket. I still hesitated to open it. But I did anyways. I couldn't believe what was it in. It was a diamond ring. Kirill was going to propose to me after all this had been taken care of. I just couldn't believe it.

How am I supposed to keep this since you're gone Kirll,I thought. I can't keep this…it hurts too much. I love you so much Kirill…thank you so much. But I just can't keep this…

The tears started to flow and I started to sob. I'm so lonely now,I thought. I need you here by my side Kirill…This isn't fair. You can't leave me like this now. You just can't! We were going to get married and then have a family or something. But now it's all gone.

I closed the box and put it back in my pocket and sighed. Well…I guess it's time for me to go home now.

End


End file.
